I promised myself I would be happy today, because really I have no reason to be unhappy. I was just born a paranoid person. Lately I’ve worried about everything that comes to mind. I don’t even try to look at good anymore. And my friends are right. I don’t have to tell anyone anything if I don’t want to. If I don’t tell you, its because I don’t have that kind of trust in you like that yet, it doesn’t make me a jerk. I trust a lot of people, but there are certain people you cant its the way it is, even if you are friends. I know them well enough to know who would tell and who wouldn’t tell a secret. I never wanted this many people to know on the first place, but I still won’t tell just anyone. It’s not even a big deal. Even I am trying to just let it go because it is so stupid. Why can’t they just let it be?
So I am going to try my hardest to be happy today because between this week and next week is usually have my annual pre-show mental breakdown. The one where I get a pounding headache that usually makes me burst into tears all because I start freaking out about songs and how I’m supposed to work everything out with my full, retarded schedule. It’s stupid really because it always ends up fine in the end, so I’m just driving myself to insanity for no reason. But yeah, I’m gonna try out happy today.